Category Archives: personal
hi internet me again! i face a serious problem and omitting everyone but the trolls have a serious problem i would like to discuss; me moving out.
for months now have been trying to move, however due to a control freak mother i am stuck on how to proceed. currently if i move my mom loses the ability to afford living in her home and while I haven’t always been very vocal and up front about leaving i have made a persistent effort to shop for a good deal and have finally found one that’s both functional in location and affordable within my meager full time pay.
however as noted above my mother is a control freak and due to my lack of constant up front desire to leave she believes two very conflicting ideas. the first is that i am not 100% serious about it. and the second is that she wishes to butt her nose in and determine when and where i move too in order to plan a move of her own out of the home in which she has raised all her kids but would be essentially alone in once i move (my parents are divorced but she still has the family dogs).
i cant stall the purchase of this apartment that screams quality and cost effective buy forever; and the way things are looking if i play along with her controlling game plan i wont be moving until (at the earliest) October. by which time i will be one year older (I’m born in October). not moving into a place that i want too (or i stand a chance of that) and she may even try and set me up to fail which is something id like to avoid as well. (she has & will figuratively do and say anything to keep me around).
i refuse to be a mamma’s boy clinging to her basement any longer and i refuse to play by her rules. but she is offering 0 support on me doing it on my own and is even threatening to evict me if i try to move on my own terms anymore when & where i want hoping ill come home crying and stay.
help me internet i am at a loss on how to deal with this conflicting crazy mom of mine and the dilemma all young adults face which is hard enough without a parent like this. moving from your parents basement.
hiya internet! its ionusx here. i have finally completed my time in therapy for codependence. i am now working to solve the problems in my own life to prevent a relapse. codependence is when a person has a traumatic event in their life that forces them to set aside their own person and become what others need or want them to be. and then they never pick it up again. this is sometimes also a behavior you learn at a young age from your parents.
the end result is that the person becomes completely reactive. they no longer act on their own and instead begin simply going through the motions often as a nay-sayer or a yes-man (varying on their personality or situation). they tend to become very clingy to people they associate with and can lead to them becoming real control freaks or people pleasers. they also tend to try and rescue others from their problems without self motivation to do so. they tend to become quite mad if you don’t reward them for doing so.
the cure is to make your own decisions, start small and work your way up. and from there you will walk into the light of social interaction, the ability to want and desire stuff and the ability to set goals.
however its very problematic for me as my parents and grandparents are all codependent in their own way and they are always trying to force me into their lives when i don’t want to. so i am now trying to distance myself as much as i can physically and mentally so i don’t relapse back in. i am actively seeking my own place and wont come back ever for fear of going back to being that way.
this has been very liberating and i am glad that i am no longer reacting and now if only some of the time acting on my own and doing what i want to do. and its been surprisingly fun to 😀
so i raise a glass this morning of the finest water i can buy at a convenience store to my new-found freedom and encourage you all to do the same. long live me!
also as a reward to myself i bought a dog tag set on ebay 😀
there you can see it if you want!
my name is IonusX well that’s not my real name but that’s the one i use ALL OVER THE INTERNET. I’m 23 brown hair, brown eyes and i am a gay/bisexual (see post 2) technophile and gamer. i will be using the blog whenever i feel like sharing this new piece of news, a new event in my life, a video i like i found somewhere, or i may even review a game or two here. im also a dancer, and am studying to become an IT.